"TRINIS LOVE TO import a Canadian and give him a big work and a pile of money," my pardner Colin said, through a mouthful of shark-and-bake at Maracas. "It start with Calder Hart." And that is the shortest, clearest statement on Trinidad & Tobago's new Commissioner of Police I've heard so far; and it came with chadon beni and peppersauce.

He probably doesn't appreciate it yet but, in a place that makes Mexico look law-abiding, Police Commissioner Dwayne Gibbs' monthly salary of around TT$140K makes him a prime target for kidnap. And with Gibbs' deputy commissioner, fellow Canuck Jack Ewatski, taking home more than a hundred grand a month, the kidnappers can be pretty sure Jack can afford to pay Dwayne's ransom; God knows

ALL ACROSS the vast territories of the Caricom member states - such as the great independent nation of St Kitts & Nevis, which (together) measures a staggering 102 sq ml, 269 sq km, and has a population of 40,000 (which dipped to 39,980-something, this Tuesday, when Prime Minister Denzil Douglas & entourage visited the continent of Grenada for yet another Caricom Heads of Government meeting) - from Belize to Suriname, the great thinkers of our towering civilizations, the envy of Europe and North America, were contemplating a fitting farewell for departing Secretary-General Edwin Carrington; they should just have asked me. I know exactly how he should be recognized.

Now I know there are some who would give the old Edwin only a tap in the head or kick in the pants, a reward for a fraud. I don't know the guy myself, but

TODAY IS THE only Black Friday for the year and that in itself seems spooky to me. What happened to the all the other Black Fridays? We normally get three or four in a year. How come we have just one Black Friday in all of 2010? Did President Obama use up all the good black luck last year, so that "they" can't even squeeze out two measly Friday the 13^th's in 365 whole days? I bet we would have had plenty more if we'd called it "White Friday".

In Trinidad, in a double election year (general & local government), I want to believe the new government must have something to do with the dearth of Black Fridays. Indeed, I'm willing to believe the rumour (which I'm also starting right now) that

IF I HAD what lawyers call, "an insurable interest" in Minister of Works, Jack Warner, I'd take out a term policy on his life. This rainy season could prove both his own guava season and proximate cause of death. Nothing can stop the rain (since former Prime Minister and possibly future Pentecostal preacher, Mr/Rev Manning has no church in which to fine-tune his proven prayer powers); and Trinidadians have, for generations, done everything possible to increase the likelihood, frequency and intensity of floods. Not even the FIFA Vice-President can turn enough votes to turn back a century of bad decisions.

Ten years ago, heavy rain brought the possibility of flooding; five years ago, it was a probability; today, it is a certainty. It's not that rain has got heavier, it's not global warming and it's not a vengeful, wrathful God. It's the direct, predictable and